9/10/2005
So you still haven't given?
Ok you heartless jackass. You're letting hundreds of thousands of people suffer in Louisiana, Mississippi, and Alabama because donating would be "hard" or "take to much time". While hundreds of children American children die. While men and women cry themselves to sleep because they have lost everything you sit there at your computer shopping for more gifts for your kids who will forget about them in a week. While grandparents sit in their wheel chairs and because they don't have medication you instant message your friends and complain about having to be in line for ten whole minutes at the take out place where you dropped fifty dollars on dinner for two when you could have spent fifteen on a less chemically laden meal if you'd bothered to actually cook for yourself in that show place kitchen of yours. You know, the one you bragged to your friends about the mahogany, walnut, or teak inlay and the imported marble, yes that one. So here's a way that's simple to actually do something usefully with yourself for the first time since you decided not to have more kids.
Pick up your cell phone.
Go into the text message menu.
Create/write a new message.
Leave it blank, but address it to: 2help
Send it.
You'll get a reply. It will ask if your lazy ass really does want to contribute $5 to the Katrina relief fund. Reply, enter: Yes.
Send.
Repeat until you've given as much as you spend on mocha vente latte's, pedicures, and over priced sushi.
These five dollar donations will appear on your next bill. You can quite possibly claim this on your income taxes.
If you can't figure out the instructions above ask your child, they one you gave the electronic parental security blanket called a cell phone to to do this for you. Do try and remember not to yell at them for running up the bill.
Those of you who have already given thank you. I've got family down there, they were far enough inland to survive mostly intact but they did lose some friends.
